The following are actual examples of ad copy I’ve found for retail items offered by mostly-Chinese sellers serving audio and electronics hobbiests (such as on ebay).
(I hope the word “Chinglesh” isn’t regarded as racist in any way. It’s certainly not intended to be. For the record, I’d be fully in support of a Chinese site hosting examples of amusingly-poor translation in the other direction!)

Devil in the Details
Let people experience a fascinating sound like “fascinating”, like a child chorus, as if it is the sound of nature, clear and pure, ethereal and soft, beautiful and holy sound gives a feeling of angel flying to the world, let people feel The result is not a simple mix of sounds, but a complete melody of torrents, and almost every nerve of the listener is affected by it, which makes people feel relaxed and happy.

Broth in the Bile Duct
The sound quality can be described by the difference of lobster and chicken broth compared with the bile duct 300B.
[The 300B is a well-known vacuum tube used in audio. I finally figured out that the “bile duct” is a tube also. Still not sure about lobster and chicken broth…]

Cattle Tranformed
Recommend the use of dual 24V power 300W above ring cattle transformer

No Wonder my Car isn’t Working
This version does not need fly line. Just take two bassoon installed in the radiator,it is OK.

the music flavor is very strong!

The kit uses fully imported fever capacitors

Anarchist’s Dream
Turn the knob to the bottom to turn off the state

Style sound appealing, beautiful voice.

Noisy, Bad, Ugly, and Irritated? Not!
The previous level is completely free of the noisy, bad, and ugly feeling of the general DIY preamp. The sound is very transparent and has music. The sense of substitution, people unconsciously turn the volume uninterrupted and do not feel irritated, the sound is full of beauty and high degree of truth, in the subtle details, want to be atmospheric!

Can I Use It?
Only those who can use it can use it well

…power amplifier board for LG86A 48-piece chorus in unison… almost crazy and bold in thinking and innovation. It uses 24 pieces (48 units) of thick and warm sound… The work of biting the bone mode maintains the excellent performance… The high-level design ensures that the whole machine has extraordinary characteristics that are outstanding.

The audio color light module can flash the color light with the music, adding to the whole speaker, adding a slever splendor. All parts are delivered in spare parts and need to be welded accourding to the drawings.

No One is Wrong if Everyone is Success
The horn protection circuit can not only eliminate the impact noise of the power amplifier switch machine, but also avoid the output DC burning the horn… The bottom noise is small. Zero floating small, do not need to do any debugging after installation… Free debugging. As long as the connection is correct, no one is wrong, basically it is a success, no need to do any debugging, beginners also have a very high success rate.

Number One Signal Cow
High quality pt-11 permalloy 10K: 10K audio cattle isolator, Jensen audio cattle reprint… There are many imitators of Jensen permalloy 10K:10K audio transformers, but none of them can break through the bottle strength of American ares manufacturers… The US ares Jensen jt-11p-1hpc 10K:10K signal isolation transformer (as shown in the figure below) is called the No.1 signal cow by audio enthusiasts… the sales volume has reached several… This is the cow-wound technology of the Jensen transformer.